The Bug Man

Got Bugs?
Unless you live in a vacuum or in a sterile test tube in a laboratory or on Mercury where the daytime temp is 750 degrees or Jupiter where the temperature is minus 180 degrees you’re living with bugs. Most bugs are shy and bashful and don’t walk around strutting their stuff. Their bug parents taught them that unless they were careful they would end up on the wrong side of a shoe. So they live in cracks, under stored items and anywhere they can hide. If you live in areas of the country where you co-habitate with bad bugs, really mean bugs like the deadly black widow and vicious brown recluse spider, you had better be prepared for war.

So we have our choice of eliminating the threat these bugs pose to our life by (option one) calling the Bug Man or killing these predators ourselves. Hold the phone, what do we know about killing bugs. Aren’t there professionally trained bug killers with their little chrome plated sprayers who come to our homes on a regular basis giving us peace of mind so we can sleep at night without one of “them” crawling up our leg for a midnight snack?

We research for a solution to our problem. We find The Bug Man. He tells us that we need to spray every month and that only he has the secret formula that gets rid of the enemy. For only $35 a month he will show up in his white shirt, with the official insignia on the pocket, to handle our alarming bug infestation problem.

I have questions. 1) why does he have to come every month? 2) how do I know what is really in his sprayer. 3) does he have a criminal record and is he here “casing” my home? And, 4) does he do a better job of spraying than I would do…he doesn’t live here.
Option two is confronting the bugs head on, myself. What do I know? I haven’t been professionally trained in “Bug Battle.” Call in the experts a voice is telling me. That’s easy, pick up the yellow pages or ask a neighbor what they do about their bugs. Go ahead, you’re busy… make the call, get someone over, and sleep well at night.
Back to option two. I call a, “do it yourself,” bug killer supply place. They inform me that spraying for bugs more than every 90 days is a waste of product. Not what my bug man said. hummmmmmm!
Option two needs my serious consideration. What if, as per the self reliant mind set, that found my best golf in the first place, I take matters into my own hands? I ask the experts at the bug supply place, sure enough, same stuff My Bug Man uses, and he ships enough product to kill bugs for years at the same cost My Bug Man charges me for ONE MONTH!

“What are the advantages of doing this myself?” I ask myself. I pay closer attention on where to spray… I live here, I know what’s in the “juice”..I put it there, I have no criminal record and have no interest in stealing my own stuff, and I have a nice warm and fuzzy feeling that I can do this myself.

Anything really wrong with having a Bug Service? Nope. We liked our bug man and will miss him terribly & we really did trust him, Well kinda. But if you’re a Maverick and pack your own parachute, there’s a better way! And that’s what I do, and I’m so proud of myself, and it’s fun.

Home schoolers excel by the time they get to college yet we send our priceless children off to school (aka daycare centers) to be dumbed down to the level of the lowest IQ in class. Schools are now adopting the principle that we don’t want to make the class moron feel bad so we won’t even use a red pencil to grade his paper and point out his Wro, Wro, Wro, Wrong anwers..don’t want us to use the word Wrong.

What about golf? For a moment, let’s consider hiring ourselves to find our best golf. We are not talking about becoming a concert pianist that requires 10 fingers going in 10 different directions trying to end up on the right black and white keys. No Sir, we are talking about hitting a rock with a stick that only takes two seconds … less time than it takes for the concert pianist to adjust his piano bench.

You swing back to here and over to here. You hand some sticks to a group of kids ages 4 to 7 and say. “Do this.” “Swing like me,” and they do! Why in the hell would you think that a golf school with a “certified” Bug Professional could do a better job. How about a worse job? Very possible.

Jim McLellan
The Anti-Pro/The Maverick

Visit or Return to McGolf Home of the Perfect Golf Swing

2 Responses to The Bug Man

  1. Jim, you are the best! Keep up the excellent blog and I will keep up my self instruction based on your Perfect Swing 🙂

  2. Thanks! Come back anytime.
    Ask your buddies to hop in the boat. &&& that goes for the rest of you readers!!!
    We need to join forces and inject some common sense into today’s world of golf instruction insanity!

    Do you readers have a horror story (bad golf instructor, etc) you want me to post?…I will

    Jim “The AP”

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