I want your body’s attention.
You and I have discussed your brain, philosophy, the mental side of golf, and most everything above the shoulders that isn’t X rated. Now, it’s time to move down and become acquainted with the machine upon which the computer proudly perches & discover the unexplored world of an exciting new BOD.
Yours truly . . . they used to say that lots in the old days of writing . . . just had a wonderful, luxurious, relaxing, heavenly experience called a massage. Wow, do I feel Ga..ud. Better than a bottle of scotch (I don’t drink) better than a dozen Valiums (I don’t drug), better than a good nights sleep (I sleep), & better than finding out that a life threatening diagnosis from your doctor was a mistake and meant for some other poor guy.
Here’s some bad news! . . .you don’t have another body hanging in the closet. What you see is what you’ve got. Don’t have to deal with it! Time for a new plan, Stan.
Some minor, easy, fun, simple suggestions can make you feel like a kid again or better. Don’t have to join the gym, go on a radical starvation diet or make drastic changes in your life style. Take baby steps by just thinking about the sage advice in the paragraphs down under. Just thinking can open the vault to some changes you’re gonna just love, to death.
First, look in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself. Get up, go to the mirror. I Love You _______your name in the blank. Too silly? Come on, no guts, this stuff works. Next say I’m going to start treating you like I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t been treating you like you deserve and dadgummit, I’m going to make some changes before its to dang late.
Somewhat irritated that you’ve waited so long? Okey Dokey it’s kind of like a divorce or cleaning out the closet. The point of Power is Now, and the bestest (I meant to say that) time is this second or sooner if possible. Run over the skinny below and give it a chance to roam about in the wind mills of your mind.
Look in ‘Ol Yellar’ and find a massage therapist. Ask for an introductory special. Make an appointment and go, go, go do it, Dude! (“dude,” from now on, refers to Dudettes as well). Do this at least every other month. It’s quite a bit, yummy.
Call your local rec center and sign up for a Yoga class. Come on . . . do it. We’re talking about you here and you deserve it… so do it. Yoga is great stuff.
Posture tells the world tons about us….how young or ancient “us is” more than any other fact-tor. Stand up straight, head high, chest out, suck in your gut, smile. Do this and look 10 to 20 years younger!
Each and every day we get older & stiffer (in all the wrong places) (rats) & less flexible. Practice swinging the club w-a-y back…past level and w-a-y through to a fuller and fuller finish. No short swings…those are for old farts.
Eat whatever you want, but only half as much as you’ve been eating. When dining out, ask for a dogie box when your order. When your order arrives put half in the “ta go” box. Eat what’s in the box tomorrow night…WOW, two dinners for the price of one! Dinning with your wife, or someone Else’s? Split the meal. Ask for 2 plates. Drink plenty of water and in 15 minutes or so the grub will “hit bottom” and you will be glad you didn’t “Eat the whole Thing.” Oh, and sure, split dessert, You deserve it, Mr. Discipline. Bonus time….A golf swing, sans a pot, gut, will do wonders for a new golf swing!
Shoot for eating 5 small meals a day. Your goal is to never feel hungry but never feel full. I hate feeling full, like a tick on a dog, ready to pop. Graze like all the svelte animals in nature, do.
Turn off the damn idiot box. We had our cable disconnected last September. I took up 5 string clawhammer banjo and my wife started playing my grandfather’s fiddle. Now, we have something to show for the hours that blow by anyway. The TV is a thief. You only have so many seconds left to live, make everyone count. Donate no more time to “The Bandit.”
Go for a walk at least 5 times a week for a half hour or so. Take your wife with you…remember lovers lane? Now that you no longer waste your precious life mesmerized by hypnotic idiots holding you captive on TV….you will have plenty of time to walk, take up a musical instrument, learn a foreign language, take naps, take up dancing, and join the circus, and OH, Yes . . . practice golf!
Do some resistance training to keep your muscles toned, and shaped and strong. I love my bowflex. There are great deals on EBay. Get one. Have some hand grippers in the car. Best ones are from http://www.heavygrips.com/
. Get the 100’s and 150’s. Use them in the car 3x per week. Develop a bone crushing grip while marooned in traffic. Take out your frustration on some stupid motorist before your kill ’em.
Tell your wife that you love her, everyday. Tell your kids you love them, everyday. Parents still living…tell them you love them every chance you get. All too soon they will be gone and so will the opportunities to let them know how very important they are to you.
Get a Persian cat. Move to the country. Build your own home (not house).
This is not a movie. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is life, the real deal, make sure when they close the lid YOU have used __YOU.. up__. YOU have made every second count, YOU have made a difference in someones life. You will not have to bribe St. Peter to get through the gates. If I go first, I’ll wait for ‘ya. Do the same for me!
The AntiPro/The Maverick
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